Saint George and the Morning Tea
by Captain Blackbird
Summary: Everyone knows the story of Saint George and the Dragon. But not everyone knows THIS story!
1. Default Chapter

St. George and the Morning Tea

Created Wednesday, September 1, 2004

It was a beautiful morning in the town of Silene, but the air was heavy with dread and fear. The townsfolk drudged around the dirty streets in silence. As people exchanged soft words and small sums of money, only one thing lingered on their minds. Today was the casting of the lots, a day that made even the happiest of jesters grimace.

The town bell gave a mournful wail, once, twice, three times. Everyone finally gathered in the town square, the usual soft murmurings even softer than usual. A young man with long black hair stretched his hand out over the crowd, immediately silencing them.

"The plates have been turned in from every household. In this jar," he said, as two other men came forward carrying a large clay jar, "is the name of every young lady in Silene. May God have mercy on our souls." The murmurings ceased. The young man reached a shaking hand into the jar, the sounds of clinking pieces of fired clay echoing over the stillness. As his hand rose up, the silence seemed to be ever louder. His eyes ran over the name written on the portion of clay. His already pale face got even paler.

"Who is it? For heavens sake, tell us, Raol!" exclaimed an old man who was standing behind him.

"I dare not tell you!" Raol said desperately.

"Give me that!" exclaimed a young maiden as she snatched the clay out of Raol's hand. She too read the name, but she did not pale. A whisper of a smile ran across her face, but it did not reach her eyes, for a bitter sadness took its place.

"Daughter, let me see the name," said her father.

She passed the piece to him, and once he read the name, a distressed wail rang over the crowd.

"It is not possible! It just can't be!" he exclaimed.

"Yes it can!" the girl countered her father. "I had the same chance as any other maiden in the village!"

The old man clasped his daughter on her shoulders, drawing her close to him. "You do not understand," he whispered to her in a voice no one else could hear. "I did not put your name in!"

"I knew you wouldn't!" she screeched at him, the people below them silent with awe. "That is why **I** did it! I knew you wouldn't!"

Her father stared at her in astonishment.

"The king's daughter..." Raol said softly. He cleared his throat, trying to make his voice more presentable. "The king's daughter has been chosen for sacrifice," he said, this time loud enough for everyone to hear. Several gasps mixed with relieved sighs erupted from the people. One young man grit his teeth to prevent a shout of anger. A friend next to him nudged him with his elbow.

"What are you thinkin', George?"


	2. Chapter 2

"What are you thinkin', George?"

"I will not let her die," he said sternly.

"George --" his friend started before being interrupted by the king.

"Please! I will give you all my riches plus half of my kingdom if you just let my daughter go!" he tried to persuade the crowd. "She is my daughter! The princess! She is my only heir!"

"The dragon took my only daughter as well!" a random villager shouted back to the king. "That never stopped you!" There were several shouts of agreement.

"Please, Raol!" the king begged to the black haired man. "You must do something! You must save my daughter!" Tears leaked down his wrinkled and tired face. Raol closed his eyes and bowed his head in shame. "I cannot, Your Majesty. Her name has been chosen so she will be sacrificed."

The king sobbed in vain as he clutched his daughter to his chest.

"Father," she soothed him as she pulled away, clasping his hands in hers. "Do not be sad for me. We are only doing what is right, and so we shall be rewarded in heaven." The king could not even reply in his sorrow.

_Later..._

A single rider on horseback trotted slowly back into the town. His head drooped as villagers looked at him. The king was ill that day and refused to come out of his room.

Meanwhile, George was piling a load of armor onto himself. His friend had found the time to come over and began to accuse him.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" he said incredulously.

"I already told you, Jacob. I'm going to save her."

"You're mad!"

"I don't care what you think I am. I will not let this dragon rule over us any longer. The town is too afraid to do anything about it, but I will not sit around any more! I am going to go slay the dragon and save the princess!"

Jacob blinked. "But you will be killed!"

"I will not."

"You don't know that."

A maid passed by. As she saw Jacob, she stopped and shook her head at them both. "There is no convincing that boy. We all can at least be sure that he will die for a noble cause."

"You all have no faith," George said huffily, strapping the last of the armor to himself. "I know that I will succeed, thus it shall happen. Anything you believe can only be true."

"And what if I believed that you would die?"

George picked up his long sword, the new metal shining in the morning light. He gave a last glance to Jacob before leaving him in the stable.

_Still later..._

After the sixth mile, George came upon the black lake where the dragon was said to dwell. All was quiet, as if the morning occurrences never happened. The steady hooves of his white horse walked quietly to the edge of the lake. George's face held determination as he drew his sword.

"Come out, Dragon! I challenge you, for I will not let you take the princess!"

His words ran across the lake and valley surrounding it, but there was no movement or reply.

"I said come out, Dragon! Fight me!"

"You know, it isn't polite to talk with your mouth full," said a deep voice.

George swiveled around while still on top of his horse. He couldn't see anyone.

"Where are you?" he yelled.

"Right here," the voice said. George's eyes finally fell upon a cave that he could've sworn wasn't there before. Sitting in its entrance was your typical four-limbed, long tailed, fire breathing, scaly dragon. It lay on its side in the dust, its long snout pointed right at George. It was large enough to cover the entrance with its stomach. Its black skin could hide itself in the night. George stared in astonishment.

"I didn't answer you the first time because my mouth was full," the dragon said, as it indicated to the small plate next to its body. It held a pile of biscuits and a few crumbs, while next to it was a pot of tea and a cup that was half full. "I didn't want to be rude."

"You can talk!" George said stupidly.

"Yes, I can. And so can you, amazing isn't it?"

"F-fight me," George said automatically, not knowing what else to say.

"Whatever for?"

"The princess."

"Don't be ridiculous," the dragon replied. George noticed that it held a lacy British accent, which confused him all the more. "I'm in the middle of tea."

"I don't understand," George said finally, after racking his brain for other possible answers.

"Oh, all right. I'll save you the trouble of your questions and tell you. See, the princess isn't here. I've already gotten rid of her. So you can just get on back home and forget about her."

"Oh no!" George exclaimed, his heart jumping to his throat and defeat already filling his thoughts. "You've eaten her!" The fact that he was talking to a _dragon _still hadn't sunken in.

"I didn't _say _that, did I? You knights always _assume_ that I eat them, don't you?" The dragon sighed, leaning onto one of its scaly black arms, its silver claws clacking against its cheek. "I said she wasn't _here _which means she is _elsewhere._"

George narrowed his eyes. "Not here...then where is she?"

"I set her up."

"What?"

"Now you could certainly say something a little nicer than 'what,' couldn't you? It is much more polite to say 'Pardon?' or "Excuse me?" At least, that is what _I _think. It is how I was brought up, you see." The dragon seemed thoroughly annoyed.

"Pardon," George said, shaking his head to make sure this was real. "Could you explain what you mean by 'set her up'?"

"That's better," the dragon said, sounding less irritated. "She's off with some ruffian at the moment. I don't know where; like they ever _tell _me where they're going." The dragon seemed to be going off onto another subject. "Not even a thank you, can you believe it? You'd think they'd be a little appreciative to me."

"I still don't quite follow you," George said timidly, his heart now sinking to his toes at the word "ruffian."

"Listen close, boy --"

"George," he quickly corrected.

"Young Master George. Your princess that you've been hoping to save is now off with some prince or other, making a new life for herself outside of Silene. There is nothing for you here."

"Why didn't you eat her?" George asked in astonishment, the weight of the dragon's words taking full effect.

"EAT her?" The dragon sounded appalled. "Why on earth would I do that?"

"It's what you're _supposed _to do!" George said angrily. "It's only proper!"

The dragon scoffed. "Why did I expect any different reaction from _this _town," it said, more to itself than George. "I don't _eat _the maidens, savvy? I set them up with young males to make 'em happy." It appeared to be thinking. "Except that one dame. I swear, she wouldn't stop yapping at me, so I _had _to eat her. You understand, don't you?"

"NO!" George yelled at the dragon. "You've ruined everything for me! I love her and you set her LOOSE??"

"Oh, are you one of the ones after love? Not glory? That's a relief. The vain ones are harder to send home," the dragon said indifferently.

George fought hard to keep tears from running down his cheeks.

"Listen, Greg --"

"GEORGE!" he yelled.

"All right, _George,_" the dragon said. "There's no use trying to pump me for information. I don't know where she's gone, so you can just get on back to your town. As for me, I'm gonna get me arse to another town, since this 'un's ruined. This is the second one in three weeks." By the time he had finished talking, his biscuits were gone and the tea finished. "I'm sorry I didn't offer you anything to eat or drink. That was rude of me, perhaps I can give you something for the trail back..." The dragon turned around to rummage inside his cave. George stewed in his anger and confusion, not believing what he was hearing. "Ah! Here we are!" The dragon turned back around and tossed a jar at George who luckily caught it. "There're some biscuits in there; made 'em meself," it said proudly. "They're bloody good."

George only stared at the dragon, a mixture of horror, bewilderment, and fury in his features.

"Go on now, there's nothing for you here." The dragon scuffled back into his cave.

George gripped the jar tightly to his armor and turned his horse to leave. His mouth was too dry to speak and he did not dare turn around to talk to the dragon again. The lake and cave now out of sight, George shivered as he realized that he had failed to slay the dragon and "save" the princess. Jacob was right, and now he would be humiliated.

"No," George said to himself. "I will not be humiliated. The dragon is leaving so I can tell them that I killed him in the river." George felt slightly comforted about the idea, but his heart was still heavy with the fact that he would never see the princess again.

This highly inconsistent knight hummed to himself an odd tune as he made his way home.


End file.
